love relationship

Compatibility In Relationship

Faithfulness and Unfaithfulness

This is the second of a series of articles on signs of compatibility through the comparison of your Birth Tarot Charts. Each article will explore different aspects that the concept of compatibility holds. To read the first article on signs of sustainability in relationship Click here.

To be true to oneself is paradoxically often the root of most conjugal unfaithfulness! Not finding in the other what one is looking for and remaining hungry for more, can push men and women to go and seek elsewhere. Some of them feel sick and guilty about it; others proud and liberated. Therese Hargo-Jacob, French psychologist from NY writes: “Neither men nor women are born faithful per se. It’s an art that requests a certain knowing and being.” Faithfulness is not granted nor owed but an art to cultivate within a relationship. In other words, one needs to maintain it. Going from a state of faithfulness to a state of unfaithfulness does not just happen by chance.

Tense, in a hurry, she sits down in front of me. We are outside and it’s pouring rain. I invite her to come back another day for her reading, but no, she wants it here, right now. Her question is literally burning her lips but she doesn’t want to articulate it. She is looking for a confirmation of facts. “Is her husband cheating on her?” She obviously knows the answer but she wants to hear it from someone else. She has been with her husband for over 30 years. It’s the first time that she is faced with such a situation. She is not necessarily jealous but she is angry at him for not telling her the total truth. She doesn’t want to jeopardize her relationship by slide slipping before the finish line. Her need for truth and sincerity is stronger than an understandable jealousy. And in her case, unfaithfulness is not irreversible. However, she is also angry at herself as she is becoming conscious, through the reading, of her participation in a reality that she abhors. The Tarot is revealing the mechanism of the “how did we get to this point?” Her lack of listening, taking him for granted, her self-neglect, her controlling habits are all factors that have led her to this unfaithfulness situation.

Faithfulness and unfaithfulness have their reasons that most of us ignore. The forms that faithfulness can take vary according to cultures, philosophies, religions, habits, etc... Among the most recognizable ones are: faithfulness by love, recognition, duty, fear, security, care for the other, resilience, resignation. The forms that unfaithfulness can take are less named but as powerful: unfaithfulness by egocentricity, revenge, mistake, shortcoming, dissatisfaction, frustration, need for newness, love for discovery, need for change.

We are constantly changing, whether on psychological, biological, chemical or metaphysical levels, etc.... The initial “You and I” is only an entity in perpetual movement. The initial form of faithfulness is rarely the one at the end. The power of adaptation is key to maintain faithfulness between two beings. The saying “but I still love you like I did the first day” is often a form of hidden rigidity and accusation, making the other responsible for the changes and guilty for the overflows outside the conjugal relationship. “Poor man, his wife is cheating on him with so and so.” “Poor woman, her husband is cheating on her with so and so.” Faithfulness is a dynamic state which fully involves both parties.

So, are there precursor signs that could help you to understand your type of faithfulness in regard to your emotional needs? Can we measure someone’s potential to be faithful or unfaithful? To answer those questions, once again, let’s visit the mysterious birth Tarot Chart made of five major arcanas also known as your Path of life. Those arcanas are the pillars of your persona; those symbolic images represent your strengths and weaknesses. The following lists are not exhaustive, but they will help you to better understand the dynamic of faithfulness or unfaithfulness in your life. 


Below, you will find the highest form of faithfulness which correspond to your Birth Tarot Chart fifth arcana.

If the major arcana in fifth position is:

  • III - The Empress: You are faithful by choice and will.
  • IIII - The Emperor: You are faithful by consent.
  • V - The Pope: You are faithful by desire of unity.
  • VI - The Lover: You are faithful by love.
  • VII - The Chariot: You are faithful by passion.
  • VIII - Justice: You are faithful by integrity.
  • VIII - Hermit: You are faithful by determination.
  • X - The Wheel of Fortune: You are faithful by open mindedness.
  • XI - Strength: You are faithful by unconditional love.
  • XII - The Hanged Man: You are faithful by devotion.
  • XIII - The arcana without a name: You are faithful by love for the extreme.
  • XIIII - Temperance: You are faithful by desire for communion.
  • XV - The Devil: You are faithful by passion.
  • XVI - The Tower: You are faithful by desire for authenticity.
  • XVII - The Star: You are faithful by generosity.
  • XVIII - The Moon: You are faithful by desire for the absolute.
  • XVIIII - The Sun: You are faithful by joy.
  • XX - Judgement: You are faithful by trust.
  • XXI - The World: You are faithful by fusion.
  • XX - The Fool: You are faithful by freedom of being.

Below, you will find the energies or qualities that are preventing you from becoming unfaithful. This corresponds to the contracted form of faithfulness that lasts but without bringing joy or happiness.

If the major arcana in the third position is:
  • I - The Magician: Inertia prevents you from becoming unfaithful.
  • II - The High Priestess: Your principles prevent you from becoming unfaithful.
  • III - The Empress: Vanity prevents you from becoming unfaithful.
  • IIII - The Emperor: Conformism prevents you from becoming unfaithful.
  • V - The Pope: Your need for recognition prevents you from becoming unfaithful.
  • VI - The Lover: Fear of the other or another prevents you from becoming unfaithful.
  • VII - The Chariot: Your need for heroism prevents you from becoming unfaithful.
  • VIII - Justice: Duty prevents you from becoming unfaithful.
  • VIII - Hermit: Fear of solitude prevents you from becoming unfaithful.
  • X - The Wheel of Fortune: Your habits prevent you from becoming unfaithful.
  • XI - Strength: Your need for control prevents you from becoming unfaithful.
  • XII - The Hanged Man: The sense of sacrifice prevents you from becoming unfaithful.
  • XIII - The arcana without a name: Pessimism prevents you from becoming unfaithful.
  • XIIII - Temperance: Kindness prevents you from becoming unfaithful.
  • XV - The Devil: Pride prevents you from becoming unfaithful.
  • XVI - The Tower: Non-spoken words prevent you from becoming unfaithful.
  • XVII - The Star: Abnegation prevents you from becoming unfaithful.
  • XVIII - The Moon: Fantasy prevents you from becoming unfaithful.
  • XVIIII - The Sun: Pretension prevents you from becoming unfaithful.
  • XX - Judgement: Tradition prevents you from becoming unfaithful.
  • XXI - The World: Neediness prevents you from becoming unfaithful.
  • XX - The Fool: Stubbornness prevents you from becoming unfaithful.

Below, you will find the list in reference to your fourth arcana which corresponds to what can make you cross the boundaries between faithfulness and unfaithfulness within your relationship.

If your fourth arcana is:
  • III - The Empress: Your need for entertainment
  • IIII - The Emperor: Your instability
  • V - The Pope: Your arrogance
  • VI - The Lover: Your narcissism
  • VII - The Chariot: Your divergence
  • VIII - Justice: Your sense of revenge
  • VIII - Hermit: Your courage
  • X - The Wheel of Fortune: Your libertine spirit
  • XI - Strength: Your impatience
  • XII - The Hanged Man: Boredom
  • XIII - The arcana without a name: Self-destruction
  • XIIII - Temperance: Your confusion
  • XV - The Devil: Temptation
  • XVI - The Tower: Your disillusion
  • XVII - The Star: Your hopelessness
  • XVIII - The Moon: Lack of romance
  • XVIIII - The Sun: Your dissatisfaction
  • XX - Judgement: Your need for emancipation
  • XXI - The World: Your saturation
  • XX - The Fool: Your need for provocation

NOTE: You can adapt this information to your partner, spouse if you know their Birth Tarot Chart.
--> Discover your or someone's Birth Tarot Chart online

As a Tarot reader, I find myself listening to many stories in which men and women struggle with faithfulness or unfaithfulness of the other. A faithfulness that constricts, a faithfulness that secures but doesn’t bring satisfaction. An unfaithfulness that hurts, an unfaithfulness that disconcerts. The question hidden behind the disarray of so many of them is often “Am I in the right?”, “Am I true to myself?” It’s this search for truth that will push you to renew your committed relationship in whatever form it will adopt. Trust in the other person is a quality to cultivate; to take the other person for granted prevents the relationship from having a future.

LD